she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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