it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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