I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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