on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
