Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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