I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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