Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
