I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
