We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
