i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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