the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
