Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
