these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
