everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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