Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
