You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
