Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
