you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
