Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
