ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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