You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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