I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
