Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
