That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
