If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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