I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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