Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
