So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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