did you get engaged???
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
