Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
