So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
