..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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