the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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