when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
