Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
