You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
