He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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