so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
