he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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