Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
