talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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