Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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