when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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