whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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