you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
