i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you would pick up someone in the library
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
