FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
