I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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