she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize