those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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