I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
