Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
