Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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