how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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