nut hugger
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
