We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize