dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
