From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
