do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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