I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
